Insanity brewing?

Yesterday, I got a glimpse of how easy it is for a woman to go insane within a marriage. I have seen it happen in my family. You try to talk to people, you try to explain what's going on. You even ask for help. But no one hears you. No one wants to listen to you. Your claims must be unfounded. He is a highly functioning person, very eloquent speaker. Everything he says seems so clear and reasonable. Quite charming, actually. You are fortunate. You should be learning from him. Never mind the humiliations you go through on a daily basis, the verbal abuse. Maybe even physical abuse (not in my case, thank heavens! Although, in that case,  it would be easier to make a decision to leave). As my husband likes to put it I live in La La Land. It seems others maybe thinking the same. 

Yesterday, I wondered for a brief moment whether I was truly going insane. Am I imagining everything. Does nobody else see it? Are people trying to cover up what's going on? Or am I being purposefully and methodically provoked? Is this a gender issue where the woman should put up with it all because there is no way a man is going to change, because the child needs stability, because you have to be the "superior person" crap that society conveniently made up to screw all women into subserviance? I think I have now started reading conspiracy into everything.

I question everything he does or says. Is it correct to do that? Day before yesterday, seeing how completely distant and angry I was growing he started talking about the plans to buy a home. I don't know if he does it in a calculated way to keep me on a leash but I have noticed that he talks about buying a home or planning a trip to Tanzania (two of my pet dreams) whenever our relationship gets strained. Of course, knowing him none of it may ever happen but it always keeps me wondering whether they will this time. Am I being unfair to him? It's just that I've been hearing about this home purchasing activity for 7 years now and every time we get closer to the deadline that he sets himself, he will find a reason to push it away (the markets are not good, the properties don't have a view, they are too cheap, they are too expensive, they are too small or too big).

The point is: am I going mad?